A Few Hundred Miles
by Frgtyou
Summary: Clare Edwards moves into a new town thinking she knows what love is all about. A new town brings new changes, and she soon realizes that love is more complicated and too difficult for her to take notice of because, this time, it is real. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_"Oh, this world is but a rude world, and hurts a thing so fair"_

-John Clare, _A World For Love_

"It's nice, isn't it?"

All she sees is a red light burning through her eyelids. She's biting her fingernails out of nowhere because she feels nervous hearing those words because_ this is it_. This is her new home, and at first she didn't care but now she's afraid.

Clare doesn't reply and stares out at the window and the trees that are turning into black blurs every second.

"I'm telling you, I can see us being really happy here. I loved this place when I was a kid." says Helen softly.

"You've told me before," replies Clare crossly, wanting to end the conversation.

She doesn't know where her anger is coming from, but she's extremely annoyed right now and talking is only making things worse.

Helen keeps her eyes on the road, occasionally stealing side-glances from Clare. She doesn't speak anymore and the silence that is present is too uncomfortable that it leaves Clare wanting to open the car door and jump out.

After a while, she decides that it is best to stay quiet and ignore everything. Clare closes her eyes and she sees that red light once again.

.

.

Someone is shaking her and, out of instinct, she slaps them in their arm. When she opens her eyes, she sees that it's Helen and her eyes are red. The guilt is just starting to kick in and Clare feels that it's overwhelming her.

"You've been asleep for a couple of hours. Everything is already set, you can go in, and sleep."

"I could have helped." says Clare quietly.

"You weren't in such a great mood," mutters Helen, "besides, everything was set since last week."

She feels as if she is going to burst into tears because she knows that it's her fault for getting that type of reaction. Things aren't the way they used to be and she can't stop looking back in the past. It's the damn temptation that always bothers her in the end.

"Come on, I want you to see the house." says Helen calmly, walking ahead.

Clare gets up from the car and she feels as if nothing is the reality she was accustomed to. Everything is different. Everything is simpler. And this new place has a smell of roses and pinewood. When she realizes that she had been staring too long, she feels as if someone is staring at her.

There. From across the street, is a girl on her porch wearing sunglasses. Clare can't tell if the girl is looking at her or at another direction, but her face is pointed towards her. The girl smiles.

Clare smiles back, but it's forced and unwelcoming.

Things get awkward quickly by just a single stare, and Clare feels that she has no choice but to walk straight inside the house.

"I called your father and told him," struggles Helen with something, "-I told him that we're here already." yells Helen from another room.

Clare looks around before following her voice and reaching what seems to be the dining room.

"Well, do you like it?" sighs Helen, holding a vase full of the same flowers Clare saw outside.

"I don't know." shrugs Clare, and she raises her gaze at Helen, the tension is almost gone.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been here for two minutes, I can't tell," scoffs Clare.

Helen pauses and her stare is listless, lifeless. The tension is back and Clare wants to scream, do something, anything to get out of the room. It's her fault again.

"I'm talking about the house, Clare!" erupts Helen, and sets the vase on the table with a loud thump, "I just want to know if this is okay? I want to know if you'll be okay with this!"

"Yeah-yes." starts Clare, but her voice gets quieter, "I like it. Thank you."

Helen lowers herself to a chair nearby and sits down, Clare inches closer to her but stays still.

"Sorry, sorry." blurts Helen, rubbing her head, "I know the divorce has been hard on you, but I need a fresh start and I know you do too."

Clare winces but keeps her posture straight. All she can think about is KC Guthrie and his smile. She thinks about his voice and his way of talking to her and asking her if things are alright. But that only makes her feel worse. Nauseous, even.

"All I'm asking is for you to give this place a chance. For us."

"I will." replies Clare.

Helen smiles at her with gratitude, and Clare feels a bit better. She feels a bit of hope. All she needs is patience and faith.

The doorbell rings and Helen grins with joy, her mood changing completely, "I bet those are some neighbors!"

Clare begins to head upstairs but her mother calls her back down.

"Please, Clarebear. Answer the door and smile." says Helen encouragingly.

Clare can't say no, her guilt convinces her not to. She goes to answer it and she sees that it's the girl from across the street, holding a plate covered in tinfoil. And she's not wearing her sunglasses anymore.

"Hi." says Clare shortly.

"Hi there!" grins the girl, "Well, I know this is so cliche...but, my parents insisted that I would welcome the new neighbors,"

"Um, tha-"

"That's so sweet. Please, come in." interrupts Helen, and reaches her hand out to the girl.

"Alli, of the Bhandari family. We live across the street." replies Alli with a firm handshake.

"I'm Helen, and this is my daughter. Clare."

"Ah, yes. We've met." winks Alli and Clare feels a bit uncomfortable.

"Oh, really? Clare is such a friendly girl, at her old school she had a bunch of friends!" says Helen, squeezing Clare's arm.

Clare stares at her mother in confusion. They both know that is a lie. She feels like opening her mouth to say something, but what can be said? _Actually, I have no friends except a guy who I crushed on for three years but didn't feel the same way and ignored me for months. _

"Is that so?" says Alli interestingly, smiling at Clare.

"Enough about Clare, please, come inside." offers Helen enthusiastically.

Alli looks undecided and a part of Clare is actually hoping she'll come inside and talk to her. Maybe, she could become her friend. This is all so strange to Clare and she wants to reject the idea.

"Well, I would love to come in, but I'll be late for something else I had planned."

Idea is rejected.

"Oh, it's fine!" says Helen, all smiles, and grabs the plate, "Thanks again for this gesture."

"No problem." replies Alli sweetly, and turns around before leaving, "Clare, right?"

Clare nods and steps up to her.

"This town is boring unless you get out of the house. I can show you around sometime, if you like." whispers Alli.

"Well, I-" Clare pauses and thinks about what her mother told her.

This is a new beginning in a town no one knows about her. She could be herself without anyone judging her. If she wants to do anything, it doesn't matter. The old Clare didn't wear dresses because others thought she wasn't girly. The old Clare wouldn't go out with friends because she was afraid she would run into KC Guthrie and his girlfriend.

She doesn't have to fear anything or anyone, at least for now.

"Tomorrow, most likely." offers Clare, with some hesitation.

"Great!" squeals Alli and jumps in for a hug, and backs away, "I'll be here tomorrow at night."

"Night?"

"It's the only time anyone goes out." laughs Alli and walks away. Down the porch. Into the street. Up her own porch. And then, she's gone.

Clare closes the door, and the first thing her mind goes to is KC and how he is doing.

She misses him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Yes, I'm back. Okay, first of all with my other fic** CoP**. I'm sorry. I gave up on that for 2 reasons:  
><strong>1.<strong> I started to hate it: the idea, plot, direction. I felt that it was too melodramatic for my taste at the time.  
><strong>2.<strong> I started to hate my writing in it. I don't know why, I'm simply my biggest critic.

I'm honestly tired of writing fics that seem on the borderline of fictional. In other words, I felt that my fics were as realistic as a soap-opera. Which I didn't mind before, but now I want to change that. This fic is going to be _mostly_ based on a true story. It's not dramatic or serious. It's a "love" story, that hopefully instead of people saying, "That's so cute!" They could perhaps say, "I can relate to this."

So, of course, it's EClare and AU. I love AU. Degrassi's current reality is too hard for me to deal with.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews! They really make my pathetic days...  
>If this chapters seems a bit too AU, I'm sorry. It's just following the direction I'm inspired by...Also, a heads up, that this will be slow, but because I want to build those friendships and relationships. If you have any <strong>questions<strong>, please, feel free to ask! This might be confusing for some.

_"But what she meets and what she fears _

_Are less than are the downward years"_

-Edwin Arlington Robinson

Clare walks downstairs, her eyes searching for her mother. Her body is practically limping at every step and her head severely aching. Staying up until five in the morning probably has something to do with it. She's slightly regrets having gone out of bed when she sees that her mother is glaring at her.

"Have any idea what time it is?"

Clare looks for the clock and she's even surprised herself.

"I'm not used to my new bed," says Clare hoarsely, and bites her fingernails.

"Get rid of that habit, you'll bite your own hand off eventually." orders Helen quickly, pulling Clare into the kitchen, "I would tell you to eat breakfast, but by this time, I'll just fix you a sandwich or something."

Clare sits down and rests her head on the table, humming softly and lazily blinking at the sound of her mother's footsteps.

"Mom?"

"Yes," mumbles Helen.

"Would you be mad if I told you I really miss our old home?" sighs Clare, running her hand through the table's surface.

"What is there to miss, though?" replies Helen softly, "Let's be honest for a moment, you had no friends, you hated going out, and you were always upset over that friend of yours."

Helen turned around and Clare glanced at her mother, feeling that she wouldn't like what she would say next.

"Clare, honey, why would you miss being alone and sad?"

"It was the only thing that actually made me happy," pauses Clare, having KC on her mind, "Forget that I asked - you're right."

"Think of it this way,"

Helen sets the plate of food in front of Clare and sits down beside her.

"When one door closes-"

"-another one opens." finishes Clare tiredly, blankly staring at her mother.

She sits there, not knowing what else to say.

.

.

"Did you like the cookies?"

"What?"

"The cookies. I brought them to you yesterday," says Alli skeptically.

Clare frowns until she remembers the plate of tinfoil that was still lying on her counter this afternoon. Unwrapped. Untouched. Uneaten.

"Oh yeah, my mom loved them." lies Clare shortly, "They were really good, what did you put in them?"

"Just your regular chocolate chips, sugar, and anchovies." snorts Alli, giving Clare a knowing look.

"Figured me out, huh?" smiles Clare, which surprises her because it's a genuine one, not the type she gave her yesterday at first.

"I'm good at figuring out liars. It's a natural skill." brags Alli, blowing her fingernails playfully.

"Sorry, I wasn't hungry yesterday and my mom isn't really a fan of sweets."

"Don't worry about it. They were store-bought." says Alli carelessly, laughing a little, "We barely found out we had new neighbors when you first got out of your car. Actually, if we're going to be honest here, the cookies were a lame attempt for me to talk to you."

"Why?" asks Clare curiously.

"I got into a nasty fight with my friends, well, ex-friends some weeks ago. Backstabbing and revelations. It was brutal." sighs Alli dramatically, grabbing Clare's arm "It's hard being a teenage girl without any friends, who knew?"

"So, you need a new one?"

"I'm not using you if that's what you're thinking. I need a friend, you need a friend, that's all. Besides, from the past fifteen minutes we've been talking, I can honestly say that I like you."

Clare smiles and even laughs a little. By the time they reach their second block of walking, Clare begins to question where they are headed.

"It's where all the kids hang out."

"You mean, like, a ravine?"

"God, no!" bursts Alli into laughter, "Where'd you get that one?"

"Nothing, nothing." mutters Clare timidly.

Her thoughts go back to KC and she remembers how he always used to hang around there with his friends. Of course, Clare never went to the ravine. It wasn't the type of place a girl like Clare would be associated with. It wasn't a matter of innocence, but more so status. And Clare was zero.

"It's a local park." continues Alli excitingly, "We play some sports or just hang out."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't seem like the type who plays sports." says Clare hesitantly.

"Like I said, hanging out is a part too. Plus, all the guys go there." says Alli and raises her eyebrows suggestively.

"My mom said I have to back by ten," reminds Clare abruptly.

"Uh-huh," says Alli hastily, "We're here!"

Clare looks around and, sure enough, it seems as if every teenager in town is around there. Clare feels uncomfortable and underdressed. She wants to leave and cover herself with a huge blanket. The anxiety is overwhelming her because she's fully aware that people and she do not mix well together.

"This is it," blurts Clare worriedly, and turns to look for Alli, but she sees her talking to another girl.

She's standing alone. Cursing at Alli in her head. And everyone is staring at her.

She's the new girl.

.

11.

Her watch says that time. She glances at Alli who's still talking to the other girl. Clare has said a few words, but realized after that it's the best if she doesn't say anything at all.

11:05.

It's an hour and five minutes over than the time she was supposed to be home. Her mom is going to kill her. This doesn't seem like a bad idea after all, considering Clare is dreading every minute being here. She can't stop fantasizing about leaving.

"Now we're talking." grins Alli, pulling out her phone.

Clare is looking at the direction Alli is walking to and she sees a small group of people circled around something.

"What's going on?"

"Just some idiots, as always." snorts the other girl, Jane, condescendingly and leaves after.

Clare thinks twice whether to follow Jane or not, but decides not to.

"Fight!" squeals Alli, capturing the entire thing on video.

Two boys are on the ground and their fists are clinging on each other's shirts. There are no punches or kicks. They're intensely staring into each other's eyes and whispering words to each other.

"Let him go, Johnny. He's just a dumb kid for fuck's sake." yells another guy who seems to be the oldest one.

Clare's guessing Johnny is the one on top of the other kid. Because, clearly, he is the one who is showing more strength and more anger.

The other boy grabs on Johnny's wrists and everyone else continues at watching with interest.

"Ladies and gentlemen, step right up! UFC match begins now!" clowns a tall kid and all, but a few, are encouraging him.

"The Great Johnny versus Eli the Psycho!"

"It would be Eli." says Alli knowingly and rolls her eyes.

Clare doesn't care what's going on. She's bored, tired, and cold. She wants to go home rather than watching two immature idiots just staring at each other instead of actually doing something.

"Screw this. I'm out of here. I'm not wasting my time for some 15 year-old." mutters Johnny angrily, getting off the kid.

The boy sits up and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. Clare sees blood.

Everyone is laughing at him and Clare feels some pity, but then that all disappears once she sees him getting on his bike, ready to leave.

Apparently, however, everyone decides that it's time to go as well, and Alli _just_ so happens to agree. Clare walks by her side, with the group of guys behind them.

"Alli!" calls one and catches up to them.

They engage in a conversation and Clare feels like the ultimate third wheel. She's also making a mental note not to go out with Alli again. She's already picturing her mother when she gets home. She truly doesn't care, but she doesn't want to spend an hour arguing with her mother and telling that it was Alli's fault, not hers, for arriving at midnight. And then Clare remembers about her cell-phone. The one she forgot to take.

Yep, she's surely screwed.

"Sorry about that." breathes Alli exaggeratedly, popping from behind, "He just wanted to know something...so, did you like it?"

"I don't think going out is my thing." says Clare honestly, wrinkling her nose.

"I see," coughs Alli awkwardly, changing the subject, "Sorry about your curfew. When I'm there, time flies by and I don't even notice it."

_Obviously_, thinks Clare bitterly.

"Hey, Alli." calls someone politely, passing through suddenly.

This makes Clare jump, turning to see who it is. But she can't see clearly, until she recognizes the bloody sleeve.

"Eli the Psycho, huh?" mocks Alli playfully and Clare feels as if they know each other enough for her to tease him like that.

"I guess." replies Eli coolly, but turns around and keeps riding his bike into another direction.

It's a second in which Clare stares at him for a while, but then she keeps walking, and she doesn't care anymore. Because all she is thinking about now is KC and the time he almost got in a fight with another kid from school.

KC this. KC that. She's still wondering if she'll ever stop loving him.

A part of her doesn't want to.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you **ilovetaylorswift13 **&** yellowmile**! This chapter is dedicated to you both.

Please review after!_  
><em>

_"It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time."_

-Barbara Kingsolver

_"I've liked someone for about three years now,"_

_"Okay," pauses Dave, dropping his basketball and walking over to Clare's side, "You can tell me, I mean, what are friends for?"_

_"You promise not to tell him?"_

_"Promise." assures Dave carelessly, but Clare still has her doubts._

_"You have to swear-"_

_"Okay, okay! I swear on my life. Happy?" replies Dave impatiently, licking his lips, "You can trust me."_

_"It's KC." reveals Clare, blushing furiously._

_Dave stays quiet for a moment and then replies with an __unreadable __expression. It makes sense. Dave is KC's best friend._

_"He has a girlfriend, if you don't remember. It's Jenna." reminds Dave defensively._

_"I know." replies Clare softly, fiddling her fingers, "I just needed to tell someone."_

_"You-you can't like him. He wouldn't be happy about it." warns Dave seriously._

Clare cringes, coming back to reality. It still hurts. He betrayed her trust and teased her after. KC was furious at her when he found out and Clare will never understand why. Since when was it a crime to have feelings?

She turns in her bed and clutches the pillow over her face, not wanting to breathe anymore so she can forget about everything. But she can still hear her mother's voice calling her name through muffled sounds. Clare wants to pretend she never heard her and stay in her room for another while.

"It's so dark in here,"

Clare sits up and looks around. Her curtains are covering the window and her mother is right. But Clare likes it this way. She feels that if it's a sunny day, her mood has to match the weather. Yet it doesn't and that makes her uncomfortable, frustrated.

"I made lunch," comments Helen considerately, opening a curtain, "I expect you downstairs in five minutes."

She leaves and Clare is surprised. Her mother hasn't shown any anger. When she came home last night, morning actually, she didn't say anything to her. Clare doesn't give it much thought and is rather thankful that she hasn't been yelled at.

Before leaving downstairs, she rushes to her computer and logs in to check her facerange. The only person she checks is KC's and Jenna's profile. Jenna changed her picture to one of her with KC wrapping his arms behind her, both of them smiling.

Her throat tightens and she views the comments.

_I love you so much, babe!_

It's KC's comment and Clare feels regret ever having clicked. Now she can't stop thinking about how they're probably together at the moment and smiling the way Clare wishes she could with KC. She knows this is unhealthy, an obsession perhaps, but she always uses her pain and jealousy as an excuse. Because she's hurting. He broke her heart and he doesn't even know it. He was the first guy to make her feel special, but also the first to make her cry.

"Clare!"

Clare encourages herself to go on and forget about everything, barely succeeding.

.

"Which one do you think is cuter?"

Clare sets the magazine aside and looks at the two bottles of nail polish Alli is holding. They are in Alli's room and all is left to rest with what happened yesterday. Clare likes Alli and Alli likes Clare. It's simple. That's how things should be left.

"I like the purple one," smiles Clare meaningfully, scooting closer to Alli.

"Good," says Alli happily, grabbing Clare's hand, "because that's the one I'm using on you. By the look of your nails, they need some of my care."

"I don't really like painting my nails," mutters Clare uncomfortably, but gives in.

"Whoa," blurts Alli, staring at Clare's fingers, "You bite them, don't you?"

"I-I...yeah." admits Clare shamefully, coughing nervously after.

"You should let them grow so I can paint them afterwards!" says Alli cheerfully, standing up to put her things away, "But in the meantime, what do you want to do?"

"Um," says Clare, thinking, "Is there a store around here? I actually want to look for something,"

"What is it?" asks Alli, already intrigued.

"I need like a notebook or something," says Clare hesitantly.

"I'm sure they sell some at the corner store," informs Alli enthusiastically, "It's 10 minutes, walking, from here."

.

"Notebooks might be in the back," mutters Alli helpfully, holding Clare's arm as they enter the store, "I'll be here looking for some ice cream. It's so hot today!"

"Okay, I won't take too long," says Clare, turning to another direction.

Alli wanders the store and decides to get a carton of vanilla before flipping through a couple of magazines and rolling her eyes at few tabloids. She heads to the counter but sees Eli passing by, deciding to ask for something.

"Eli, Eli!" says Alli hurriedly, beckoning him to head over, "Have you seen Adam?"

"No. Not really." replies Eli, scratching his cheek, "He'll probably be at the park tonight."

"I'll be there then. Tell him that I really need to talk to him," smiles Alli, and turns around looking for Clare.

"Have you seen my friend?" asks Alli absently, her eyes searching around.

"What friend-"

"Clare! Over here!" calls Alli gently, waving her arms.

Clare takes meek steps and goes by Alli's side. She looks at Eli and she could see him more clearly than the night before. She finally notices the green eyes and teasing pink lips that are tightly pursed. There's something about him that she can't take her eyes off. For a moment she feels as if this isn't really happening, as if it is a dream. She doesn't know why though and they haven't even said anything to each other yet. There's slight tension when their eyes meet.

Eli looks away, rubbing his neck.

"I'll see you around, Alli." dismisses Eli casually, turning around and walking away.

Clare feels slightly invisible and offended. He didn't even greet her or said goodbye. He left once she arrived, and this bothers her far more than it should. Her hands are clammy and it's a rush she finds enticing but too strange for her to take notice of...

"Did you find your notebook?" asks Alli curiously, pulling Clare out of her train of thought.

"No, but it's okay," sighs Clare indifferently.

"Hey, I know I said we would hang out at your house tonight, but I have to go to the park and talk to my friend about something for school. I know you don't like it there, but-"

"Um, I can go." offers Clare shyly, thinking about maybe seeing Eli.

The thought surprises her and she thinks about saying never mind.

"Really? Okay. Cool." grins Alli, and grabs Clare's hand, holding it, "Sorry that you didn't find your book."

.

.

"Foul, fuckers! That's a foul!"

Clare is sitting on a bench and she's the third wheel again. Alli is talking with a boy who constantly fixes his beanie every two minutes, and she can't do anything but watch the game of basketball in front of her.

_Why did I come here again_, thinks Clare impatiently.

Something hits Clare's ankles and she finds that it's a basketball. She stares long enough, that soon everyone starts yelling at her.

"Pass the ball!"

It's like a foreign language to Clare and she can't hear them well, the yelling only makes her more nervous, and less concentrated.

"Pass. the. ball." snorts the same tall kid Clare saw the night before.

"I'll get it!" yells someone tiredly.

Clare is gulping the humiliation away and her hands are sweaty from the anxiety that is overwhelming her. Again - people and Clare do not mix well together.

"Mind if I have that?" asks someone hoarsely, reaching out their hand.

"Sorry. I couldn't hear." apologizes Clare uneasily, handing the ball and looking up, finding that it's Eli.

"It's okay. These uh jerks are pretty impatient." replies Eli quickly, already leaving but he turns around, "Don't take them seriously."

As he runs back to the game, Clare can't stop looking at him. She doesn't take her eyes off of him. There's something about the way he talked to her, the way he was so patient and gentle that made her want to know him more. Want to know more _of_ him. But at the same time, Clare doesn't want to talk to him. It'll probably be a waste of time, she thinks. And something can sense that she's wrong.

"Earth to Clare," says Alli playfully, waving a hand in her face, "I've been calling your name for 10 times now,"

"Sorry. I'm just tired." yawns Clare softly, turning to face Alli.

"Well, we still have an hour until 10. I kind of wanted to introduce to some friends..." says Alli patiently, twirling a strand of her hair.

Clare thinks about it for a moment. She reflects about the possibilities of making herself look like an idiot or embarrassing herself, but she decides that it's best to try to make friends and take an opportunity.

"Okay. I can stay for that." smiles Clare lightly, running a hand through her curls.

"Hey Adam!" calls Alli eagerly at the boy with the beanie she was speaking to earlier.

"Alli," replies Adam nicely, walking closer to them, "Alli already told me your name, Clare. So you're new to this shitty town, huh?"

"Yeah, it's been two days now..." replies Clare uneasily, cringing at her awkwardness.

Adam scoots in between Alli and Clare and is beaming with a welcoming personality that intimidates Clare, but also comforts her.

"Has Alli been a good host? She can be a bit too much at times, if you know what I mean," winks Adam teasingly, suggesting to Clare that there's something between the two of them.

"Are you two a couple?" asks Clare impulsively, regretting it once she sees the look on both Adam's and Alli's face.

"Holy crap," laughs Adam. "Alli's like my sister!"

"Good one, Clare," chuckles Alli nervously, patting Clare's shoulder.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just thought that - I should just stop talking now." says Clare bashfully, turning red.

"Don't worry. It's just that it's the first time we've heard something like that." says Adam reassuringly.

"Adam! We need to go -" yells Eli out of nowhere, pausing after he sees that Adam is with both Alli and Clare, "Sorry for interrupting, I'll just wait for you by the court."

"Wait up, man." calls Adam keenly, "Have you met Alli's friend?"

"Oh yeah, I haven't introduced you guys!" exclaims Alli mindfully, grabbing Eli's arm to come back.

"That's my new best friend: Clare," brags Alli. "Clare, this is Elijah - er - I mean Eli!"

"Hey." says Eli blandly.

"Hi." smiles Clare warmly, pausing to think of something else to say, "Sorry about the basketball earlier."

"What?" asks Eli confusedly, upsetting Clare that he had forgotten.

"Nothing." mutters Clare sadly, ashamed of having asked.

"Oh yeah, I saw that." says Adam nicely, "Forget the whole thing, Clare. It happens all the time and yet those guys can't learn a thing about patience."

"Oh that," interrupts Eli, with apologetic eyes, "Yeah. Don't worry about it."

"You should sit." blurts Clare courteously, surprising herself that she offered.

Eli sits next to Clare and they both stare at each other briefly, closely. Their proximity has them touching elbows and knees. Clare thinks that it's a nice night and she feels a bit excited having Eli sit next to her. She doesn't want this moment to end, but she doesn't want admit it either.

Out of nowhere, Eli's hand touches Clare's face and she's confused.

"You have a bug on your cheek." informs Eli, seemingly amused at the situation. "Hold still."

Right when he says it, Clare can feel something crawling near her nose and she quickly turns pale. She can hear Alli yelping in the back and Adam laughing. Goosebumps are starting to form on her arms.

"I-Is it off?" asks Clare apprehensively, freaking out, "I really-really hate bugs."

"Don't speak." orders Eli. "You're making it move."

"Just smack it!" mocks Adam playfully, and Clare sees Eli glaring at his direction.

He pulls away and Clare almost misses the closeness.

"Gone?" questions Clare.

"Yeah," says Eli coolly, flicking his finger to the side, "It was an ant, I think."

"Thanks." says Clare, embarrassed out of her mind.

"You're welcome." coughs Eli stiffly, chuckling freely after.

Clare smiles back at him. And for once, something isn't focused on pain and nervousness. It's focused at the moment and the uncertainty. But it all ends and she turns away once Alli says that it's time for them to go.

But she wants to stay a little longer.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Gracias for the reviews! They really made me happy. I thought noone was reading this. Anyways, this chapter will focus on a **week**, or so, later after Clare's arrival. I hope you enjoy!

Please review!

_"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."_

-Buddha

"_I don't care about what the others think. What matters is you._"

"_But we can't. For us, we can't._"

Clare can't help but roll her eyes at the soap opera her mother is watching. Helen is genuinely interested and squeezing Clare's hand every time any of the characters speak. It's late at night and Clare wants to meet Alli at the park, but she promised her mother they would spend time together. It's been a week that Clare hasn't stayed at home every night. With Alli and Adam, she's had a lot of fun and finally felt like she belonged. Eli was another story that she didn't understand.

"This line always makes me cry," whispers Helen sadly. "Right when she says that time has gone by and they can't do anything because everything's changed."

Clare begins to wonder if this has to do with her parents' marriage that fell apart. Things couldn't change because of all the differences both of them ignored overtime. Clare squeezes her mother's hand even more tightly and there's anger that begins to fill that emptiness she's been feeling ever since they've sat down and watched this melodramatic soap-opera.

"Why do you watch this?" asks Clare scathingly, letting go of her mother's hand.

"What's with the attitude?" questions Helen accusingly.

Clare pauses and wants to question everything with impatience and frustration. But the look on Helen's face creates a guilt that Clare feels she rightfully deserves.

"I'm sorry." mumbles Clare meaningfully, covering her face, "I don't know what's with me."

Helen offers a sympathetic look and hands over the remote to Clare.

"We can watch something else if it makes you feel better."

"Can we..." begins Clare hesitantly, biting her nails, "never mind."

"No!" says Helen happily, scooting to Clare's side. "Tell me, sweetie."

"Can we talk?" sputters Clare finally.

Helen softly smiles and turns off the television. She pats Clare's thigh, like she used to when Clare was younger, and clears her throat.

"You can tell or ask me anything."

"Anything?" asks Clare, wanting to make sure.

"Why not?" offers Helen cheerfully.

"What if we talk about dad?" winces Clare, glancing with hopeful eyes.

"What do you want to know about your father?" questions Helen calmly.

"Was dad your first love?"

There's a faraway look in Helen's eyes and Clare is grateful that her mother doesn't seem bothered by the question.

"I didn't meet him until I was in college." reminisces Helen enthusiastically. "He graduated and came to visit my campus because he had a cousin there - your Uncle Jim. My first love was when I was thirteen."

"Oh." says Clare softly. "Did he like you too?"

"Well," pauses Helen. "I was his valentine for one year, but that was all. He was a weird kid. The smartest boy in my class. I can't remember his name, but I remember his face and the many times I cried over him."

Helen chuckles and Clare feels that it isn't a laughable matter.

"How about you?" asks Helen patiently. "I know that one of the reasons you miss back home is because of that boy-"

"KC." finishes Clare sadly. "He has a girlfriend."

"It's alright, Clare." says Helen tenderly. "I know it may seem that you'll never like, I'm sorry, _love_ anyone else after him. But you'll see. One day you'll just stop thinking about him, and from then one, it'll repeat with a new guy. A better one."

"Really?" mumbles Clare. "It's been more than three years I've been telling myself that."

"Three?" questions Helen surprisingly, covering it soon after. "It'll be okay, Clare. Trust me."

"I'm going to bed now." finishes Clare after a long pause. "Goodnight."

Helen opens her mouth to protest but decides it's best to let her go.

"Alright."

.

.

The sky is blue and the trees are showing their summer colors.

Clare likes to take this type of time to be alone and think about everything that makes life so confusing. This explains why she decided to go to the park when no one would be there. She could tell Alli that she can't go today and spend time with her mother instead, she plans.

There's too much on her mind that focuses on more than she could handle. She misses her father and she misses the city. There was more noise and more people who could carry on with their lives without bothering her. Now, she felt suffocated at times. People were near her all the time and it saddened her. They were carrying on with their lives and Clare focused all her spare time on some incomprehensible love she hated but was afraid to let go.

And now she sees him. Eli. She doubts herself. What is he doing here? Why is he alone? Clare wants to turn around and leave, but they make eye contact and Clare feels that she has no choice but to go over and say hello.

He's turned around now and Clare feels nervous all of a sudden.

Two more steps.

Clare is ready to stop in her tracks and turn around.

One more step.

"Hey Eli," says Clare finally.

He remains quiet and his head is still turned against her, leaning against his shoulder. She thinks that he's ignoring her and now she feels stupid. She didn't have to say anything. It's not a requirement for her to live by. She shouldn't have-

"What?" asks Eli, pulling out two earphones. "I couldn't hear you."

"Oh, I thought you were ignoring me." blurts Clare in great relief. Now she feels even more stupid and embarrassed for showing emotion.

"I wasn't." reassures Eli blandly. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to go out for a walk." replies Clare, lowering her voice at each word. "You? What are you doing here?"

"I was bored at home."

"Nothing good on TV?" asks Clare humorously, regretting it once she sees that Eli's bored face remains.

"I could ask you the same." replies Eli plainly. "I don't watch much TV."

"Same here." says Clare, stepping away. She wants to leave and get away from his bland personality that makes her feel pathetic, she wants to ask him why he's being so cold...

"Do you really think I'm a dick?" questions Eli abruptly, standing up and facing Clare.

"What?" chokes Clare bewilderingly. "I didn't say anything-"

"But you did." pauses Eli, licking his lips. "Adam told me that you commented to Alli that I'm _not very welcoming_."

"I did say that." says Clare pensively, rushing to defend herself. "But I never said you were a...you know."

"You meant the same thing." says Eli, stepping closer to her. "Just admit it."

"Alright." begins Clare hesitantly. "You've been really distant to me every time I try to talk to you and I don't understand why - unless that's just you being nice."

Eli chuckles and this is the second time Clare begins to feel comfortable around him.

"Well, I'm sorry." says Eli, waving his hand. "I just wasn't aware I was part of the town's welcoming committee. Next time I'll make sure I do my job."

Clare can't stop thinking about how cheerful she feels now. She finds Eli interesting and it amuses her - the attention she's giving to his every word. At the same time, Clare can't help but ignore all those thoughts and feelings.

"Okay." smiles Clare, feeling confidently curious. "Now that that's out of the way, tell me about yourself."

"Huh-what do you mean?" asks Eli, squinting with confusion.

"I know Alli and Adam. What about you? Let's begin with an easy one." says Clare engagingly, clasping her hands. "How old are you?"

"15." snorts Eli condescendingly, then noticing the look of disappointment on Clare's face. "I-I'm being mean again, right?"

"Just a little." replies Clare, laughing a bit after. "It's fine."

"You shouldn't do that." says Eli seriously, kicking a pebble. "You shouldn't say it's fine. You should stand your ground and not let people push you. Or treat you with attitude...like I did..."

"You're not anymore." says Clare softly.

Eli smirks and sits down on the bench again with Clare trailing behind him. They sit in a silence that builds tension.

"Say something." blurts Clare, nudging Eli's arm.

"Something."

Clare laughs and Eli smiles.

"I never expected you to be so sarcastic." says Clare, letting an amused chuckle escape her lips.

"I never expected you to be so talkative." says Eli, chipping a piece of wood from the bench. "In a good way."

Clare faces Eli with content and says, "We have something in common, you know."

"What?"

"We're both pretty clueless when it comes to people."


End file.
